A Day of Remembrance

This day started out with a major financial institution (read: WELLS FARGO) harrassing me at my home, just after waking up. Let's just say that I've been busy with life and shit, and was a little late with a *last* and *final* fucking payment on my oh so fucking spectacular furniture.

I could tell that this day was going to the shitter already, and I knew that would be the case because it has now been 6 years since my friend Roger Allan Lowe blew his brains out all over his grandma's rocking chair.

His casket was open. The bullet went in through his right eye. The way that they had glued his face back together.... made his eyelid all wavy. Plus, he looked funny in makeup.

Roger definitely had some problems (for fuck's sake, don't we all?!) with life and the people in it. I understand him, but I still hate him for the void that he left in so many of our lives. He told me that he was going to kill himself about 2 weeks before he did it. I tried to talk to him, tried to comfort him, let him know that people cared about him. None of that shit worked, hence this post 6 years later.

He was fun to hang around with, drink with, smoke with, ride rollercoasters with, talk about politics with, shoot guns with, laugh with.

I miss him, still, so much. He was my rebel heart. So, if you read this, know that this probably isn't just Roger's Day of Remembrance. There are thousands more that took their lives on this day, too. I feel for them all, knowing their pains perfectly well.

My new dog is a suicide survivor. The lady shot herself while two dogs were in the room with her- one of the dogs is gone of old age already, and my dog isn't far behind. We're just kind of banding together to get through as best we can; I want to comfort my dog and let her know that not everything is pain, even as painfully as this particular day began.

In closing and in honor of Roger Allan Lowe, I will scream, yet again....

/*FUCK YOU GEORGE W. BU$H AND YOUR POLICIES OF DEATH*/